Winter Blues!

I can't believe that we are now into our third week of sickness. This week Christyn developed pneumonia again. I am so sick of this stuff. I don't think people understand why I don't go out in the winter. Here is why, it never fails we get the common cold every year and it just won't go away and after a few weeks of that we end up with ear infection and then eventually pneumonia. I now consider myself a seasoned pro at this stuff. I have my girls on the breathing machine as soon as I notice green, runny noses, that's the first sign of pneumonia. I have been wondering lately, how much is to much antibiotic and steroid because, I'm not sure these little bodies have the immunity they should have. Anyways, we go through this at least three times in the winter months and man is it stressful. The treatments are 4-6 times a day and last 30-40min., that is a huge chunk of my time just giving medicine, not to mention the fevers breaking, the extra dirty pants, and the extreme fuzziness. Oh! and lets not forget the extra cleaning because, everything needs disinfecting. I sure do get more time with the girls. That little machine helps me in some ways, 30 extra minutes here and there to snuggle the girls, so long as they don't decide to fight me. I sometimes give them treatments in their sleep so, I won't have to put up with the kicking and screaming. How long will this last? Will they ever grow out of it? Can my check book take much more of this? These are all questions running through my head. My sanity is shot lately and I am ready to throw my hands to the air and just surrender and give up. The young years of child bearing are so trying. I selfishly want to start things for me and always have to put them on the back burner, due to kids. I still can't find balance between my family, my church callings and responsibilities, doing service, and taking care of me. I read somewhere the other day, a lady talking about women having children and life happening and then not having time for yourself. I hate that I always choose everything else before my needs, like they are not important. I can't seem to find 20 min to run lately. My brother in-law once told me if I wanted to make the change I could. He said get up 20 min earlier and make time for the workout. It all seems so funny considering I don't sleep now. Running at 3 sometimes 4 in the morning just so I can say I worked out. Where is the extra 20 min. What can I possibly cut out of my life to make other things happen. I feel so inadequate right now, I know I can't be the only mother wondering why I'm not supermom. Balance....It's all a balancing act. I just have to figure out what I can juggle and what needs to go. If only the circus paid more than peanuts....I would be a very wealthy woman.







My kitchen counter looks like a pharmacy right now.






Wanted to list my daily routine so I could see for myself what can go
6:30 try to get up if I slept that night
7:00 get kids up and ready for school
7:30 pack lunches and make breakfast
8:00 kids go to school
8:30 Rachael and Christyn get up
8:45 give girls a bath and strip bedding usually every other day not by choice
9:15 feed girls breakfast
9:45 clean up breakfast mess
10:20 put movie on for girls this is when they get their first treatment
11:00 some chores
12:00 start lunch
12:30 eat lunch
1:00 christyn goes down for nap
1:00-3:00 I sleep
3:30 the older kids get home from school and christyn is up
3:45 breathing treatment, homework
4:15 more chores, laundry usually or picking up toys
5:20 start dinner
6:20 eat dinner
7:15 clean up from dinner, another breathing treatment
8:00 older kids take baths and get stuff ready for school
8:30 scripture study if we're lucky, christyn to bed
9:00 bed time for brandon and liz
9:30 pack wade's lunch and get his dinner ready
10:15 he leaves for work, breathing treatment
10:30 rachael finally goes to sleep
11:00 check email and facebook
12:00am more chores and art stuff (my work)
3:30am run on treadmill
4:00am getting tired go lay down for awhile
Ok this just seems ridiculous..it is no wonder I am exhausted all the time...who functions like this.
This is a typical day. Not the days I have trips to town or when I work for others. Wednesdays are bad....youth night....blah. It is no wonder I just want to run away come Saturday.